Being a mum - my experience through pregnancy, labour and the first nine months

I gave birth to my first child in January of this year and life has completely changed for me. I've been on maternity leave since December 2017 but now that I'm getting ready to go back to work, I'm reflecting on my experience over the past 18 months. The good, the bad and the downright exhausting!

Now I have to begin this post with a massive disclaimer - I don't profess to be the best mother in the world. I'm sure there are plenty of things I could do better at. But I am realistic - I get frustrated, tired, sick of my baby, just like all mums do. But I love my son more than anything in the world and I do try to always do what's best for him and appreciate our time together. Sometimes that's watching him play, other times that downing a glass of wine with dinner to get me through the rest of the night.

I should also say that I have been beyond lucky with my son. He really is a good baby overall, and while we have had a few challenges they are nothing compared to what some other mums have to deal with. So if you haven't slept in 3 months, still have problems with breast feeding and can't get them to give you a minutes peace - please step away from the computer - do not read this post - please don't hunt me down and kill me - and yes, wine is always the answer!

So lets start with my pregnancy. I fell pregnant at the end of March 2017, a lot faster than I was expecting and probably a little earlier than was ideal for my work situation (I was on a development programme and would have liked to finish it before I went on maternity leave). However, I was beyond excited when I found out we were expecting a baby and felt so grateful that we did not come up against the fertility issues that so many people I know struggle with. I was actually already pregnant when I went on my honeymoon to New York at the end of April. I was slightly suspicious before we left, but I hadn't shown any symptoms. I should have know there was something going on though since I managed to burst into tears in the lift one morning because I missed the dog so much!

In the beginning I was really tired. Sometimes I would go to bed at 7.30pm and sleep right through to the next morning. I also had some sickness, though it most definitely wasn't restricted to the morning and had quite a lot of food aversions. I went off meat and lived off dry potato waffles for dinner for quite a few weeks. Throughout the pregnancy I often had a bad nights sleep. I would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and be awake for hours, only to fall asleep half an hour before I had to get up. I was really lucky that I had flexi time at work and could go in a little later when I needed to.

Later on in my pregnancy I had horrendous heartburn. I lived off Rennie's and couldn't make it through the night without eating at least 4. I found lying on my left helped but didn't always completely eradicate it. Towards the end, I developed some pelvic pain when I walked for any length of time. I think it was just due to the size of the baby and it didn't cause me any serious problems.

Although I was on the red pathway - higher risk - I was lucky that I had no complications until a few days before I went into labour when I had high blood pressure. Now that I look back, I think my body was just getting ready to get that baby out!

I had a horrendously long labour. I woke up at 4am on the Wednesday morning, started having contractions at 6am and didn't deliver my son until 6.39pm on the Thursday night. Though it was long, I would describe it more as hard work than painful. I had a TENS machine which really helped me in the house. I got in and out the bath as needed which helped with the pain but I think slowed down the development of my contractions. I managed to stay at home for 24 hours and arrived at the hospital just after 6am on Thursday morning. When the midwife examined me I was already 5.5cm dilated and was offered gas and air straight away, which I gladly accepted!

The time I arrived at the hospital was very important - I think I made it in just in time because after a few hours a midwife said they didn't know if they would be able to get me into a labour suite as they were so busy they had to close the hospital to any new admissions. If I had left it any later I would have been sent to another hospital in the city. Though I did have to wait until after lunchtime to get into a labour suite, I cannot fault the staff. They took great care of me, my husband and my son

The midwife who took me round to the labour suite stayed with me the rest of the day and delivered my son. I absolutely loved her. We were chatting away and she really kept me going when I wanted to give up towards the end.

I find it quite difficult to describe the end stages of my labour. I hadn't slept in nearly 36 hours, I was pushing for over an hour and was pretty high on gas and air. I was also apparently talking absolute gibberish - at one point I asked my husband if he could hear the cats fighting outside only to be told that it was the sound of a baby crying! I also made noises akin to those of a wild animal - I have no shame. Childbirth is hard!

I wasn't sure what to expect when I delivered my son. Some people are overcome with emotion, but one friend had told me she was surprised how calm she was afterwards. I was just like her. Once I pushed the head out, the midwife laid me down flat (my legs were up in stirrups) to let the body come out easier. I didn't push his body out - he just kind of slid out, and in an instant I felt back to normal. I felt so calm and comfortable with him on my chest. It was just a wonderful feeling.

After all the medical necessities were dealt with - some a little too graphic, so I'll spare you the details - I started to feed him for the first time. I was planning on breastfeeding so the midwife came to help me. She described to me how most babies like to be positioned but I just kind of held his neck and put his mouth near my nipple and away he went! She seemed quite surprised but I think he was just so hungry he would have latched onto anything.

I was moved up to a ward at about 11pm and my husband had to go home. I felt quite bad for him as he had only got to spend a few hours with us but I was seriously glad to get some rest. I stayed another night after that and came home on the Saturday morning. Those first few days were surprisingly stress free. I was glad to be back in my own house and be able to get out with the baby in the pram and with the dog. Though it was January, we were really lucky with a mild winter so we made the most of it.

I just took it easy those first few weeks, feeding when needed and trying to get as much sleep as possible. I was warned in the hospital about cluster feeding but was not told just how bad it would be. I was stuck with a baby on my chest for hours in the evening, not being able to eat dinner at the table, do anything around the house or go and relax for any time at all. I also found it quite uncomfortable to sit for long periods - a baby had just come out of me for goodness sake! Overall I was lucky, he was a very settled baby and he would go a few hours between feeds which let me get some sleep during the night.

It took a couple of months to get into any kind of routine during the day. Because I was feeding on demand it was hard to figure out when nap times were and how long he would be sleeping. But bedtime has always been pretty good. Though the time have changed and the process has evolved, my son has slept through the night since about 2 weeks old. The amount of time he has slept has got longer as he's grown, so his bedtime has gotten earlier - at first I would feed for about an hour with him going to sleep at 11, which quickly became 10 and then 9. That lasted for a couple of months and then moved to 8 by the time I had stopped breastfeeding. It has recently come forward again to 7.30pm because he now only takes one nap during the day and has to be up a little earlier in the morning.

Naps during the day were a bit hit and miss for the first 6 months. He would usually sleep ok in the morning, but there was always a fight to get him to sleep in the afternoon. It would usually end in  taking him for a walk in the pram, a drive in the car, or letting him sleep while latched on to me. Since I started weaning him though this has improved a lot. As I type he has been sleeping for about an hour and a half this afternoon and I have been able to enjoy a little silence!

Again I was really lucky when I stopped breastfeeding. I only wanted to do it for six months and wanted to make sure he was settled into his routine when I went back to work, so I slowly moved him over to formula around the same time I started giving him solids. He took so well to both and it really helped me get him into a better sleeping pattern especially during the day.

My son was 9lb3oz when he was born so quite a bit bigger than the average baby. He has also been quite advanced, rolling over at 3 months, bear crawling at 5 months, fully crawling at about 6 and a half. Now at 9 months old, he has been trying to get on his feet for a good month. He can pull himself up on furniture and will walk quite confidently with a walker. While this is exciting, it brings a whole new world of headaches, especially with regards to safety. It hadn't even occurred to me that he would be able to get up the stairs until I caught him half way up trying to follow the dog. So the house has now been baby proofed to avoid any accidents!

Our next challenge is my return to work and his transition to nursery. We have spent every day of his life together, and the longest I have been away from him was one overnight to treat myself when I finished breastfeeding. He has been for some settling in at nursery which seems to have gone ok but I think I will find it really difficult not to see him all day every day. I know going to nursery will be so good for his development but I really am going to miss seeing his face in the morning, giving him breakfast and getting him ready. I will need to make the most of our time together in the evenings and have good quality time with him at the weekend.

With all we have been through in the past year, I can honestly say having my son was the best decision, and I cannot wait to see the person he becomes over the coming months and years.

Louise

xoxo